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...and to bed

Mass for me. Vacuuming for her.
French toast.
Errands, including first cider purchase of the year.
Answered email, hunted for thank you cards, knitted/crocheted depending on who you're envisioning.
I cooked for the first time in more than two weeks.
Shower. Dinner.
I graded papers. She did laundry.
She found more photos.

She's gone to bed. I'm on my way.

Yes. We did all these things. You can live two things simultaneously, we've found. There is the life we do. And there is the life we feel. They sometimes have very little in common, except that they share the same moments in time. The life we do moves us through the days, and even appreciates some of those moments for their beauty, or humor. The life we feel is...as you might imagine right now.

Tonight, just as we were getting ready for bed, Sam found a new perch. She was posed like a cat in an ancient Egyptian statue. On the box we've housed his ashes in--the box he and his brother made to hold his county coronet.

She was very elegant. Very much Daddy's girl. Watching over him.

Good kitteh.



( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 6th, 2008 12:11 am (UTC)
There is the life we do. And there is the life we feel.

Eloquently put.

Sometimes the feeling will overtake you so you can't *do* for a while. It's awful, but it's part of the damned process and there's no way around it. Other times it is necessary to concentrate on the doing in order to reduce the feeling. That's OK, too, as long as the feeling is allowed to come out once in a while.

I would ask if you are ok, but as we agreed, you will tell me that you are, and I will know that it a lie, because admitting to the rest of us that you're not ok makes you have to admit it to yourself, which is the last thing you want to do. But know that I am thinking of you and Ro.

Oct. 6th, 2008 08:07 am (UTC)
I was thinking of you during football yesterday and thinking that must be hard.

Oct. 6th, 2008 09:35 am (UTC)
Hugs. Sounds like a good evening all in all. Knitting is fun, though I'm stuck on a part of a sock pattern. Crocheting is what I grew up doing and I'm taking a break from a blanket at the moment.

It's good to know you both enjoy the stringy-world :-)
Oct. 6th, 2008 09:36 am (UTC)
I've tried to find the words to express so many things, but every time I begin to write something, I re-read it and the words sound hollow - so I delete them.

All I can really say is that I am here for you, and I love you.
Oct. 6th, 2008 10:14 am (UTC)
always here, always listening.

and the cats will *always* know.
Oct. 7th, 2008 09:46 pm (UTC)
This was lovely.

Andrew wanted me to check up on you and Aunty. Make sure you know we are here and love you both.

Big hug from both of us.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )