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When in doubt, resort to biochem


Yes. 2 x 4. Got hit with one.

Yesterday was my weigh in at Weight Watchers. In an attempt to regain some normalcy (and because I had to do it in the next 3 days or pay $10 if I waited to November), I went. Hmmmmm.

When I weighed in in September I weighed "X." Then, well, "it" happened. At the end of that week I got on the bathroom scale, being a creature of habit, and weighed in at X-5. Not good. Already at minimum for bone density concerns at X. So, I ate the cake. And everything else people brought. People were around. Two weeks later, I'm at X+3. So, I think, okay, in a nice healthy place. And ate when I was hungry. What I was hungry for. That was mostly bread, cheese, soup, and anything made with flour, lots of sugar, and baked. Cookies, cake, whatever. I bin eatin' it. And went out to dinner at salt heaven one night with Duchezz and Dan (and then again a week later with just the Duchezz, but not so much with the salt). So, I head to weigh in, expecting that I'm around X+7 or 8.


Yup. Over the last month, combined, I managed to lose 9 pounds. And gain 8. Net loss of 1. But, well, yo-yo weight not really recommended. And I'm below where I ought to be for my height and age--that's a personal first (you know it's bad when one of the maintenance guys tells you you've got to stop losing).So, I guess eating when I'm hungry, what I'm hungry for, maybe not such a good plan--but not for the reasons I'd assumed.

Then I remembered. Meirwen + grief/loss=no friggin' appetite, especially outside of social settings. No want veg ('cept in clear broth soup). No want meat. No want sammich. No want much fruit. No want much. Unless it's caffeine or SUGAR!!!!

This dietary plan, of course, could exacerbate A)depression, B)mood swings, C)compromised immune system, D)feed certain infections, thus further stressing already compromised immune system, and E) otherwise deprive an already stressed system of necessary nutrients. I mean, empty calories tend to be yummy, or at least edible, but, well, by definition they're pretty worthless.

And I've been alone all week. Alone in my office. Alone in my house. Alone in the snack bar.

This is not to say this week wouldn't have been hard anyway, but I suspect my failure to force myself to attempt reasonable nutrition probably didn't help much. At all.

So, food as medicine. You'd think since I'm frequently the high priestess of that particular religion I'd ... right. Impaired cognitive functioning, triggered by grief, exacerbated by poor sleep and poor diet. Ya think????

Well, Duchezz is coming home this week. And there will be family for All Saints, and part of the eve, and some of Souls. I will try to be better.



( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 30th, 2008 02:55 pm (UTC)
BTW, we tried to call last night so that you could hear someone say "We Love You!!!!" but couldn't get a line through...

So listen up! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And in reference to your post, add the 'anything with TONS of salt' to the mix, and you've got me down pat. I've gained your 8 pounds.


(still love you!)
Oct. 30th, 2008 03:33 pm (UTC)
So, I guess eating when I'm hungry, what I'm hungry for, maybe not such a good plan--but not for the reasons I'd assumed.

I haven't had an appetite for well over a year now, and so pretty much eat by rote. It has been strangely liberating, once I understood what was going on. We make sure that the house has good food in it, and then I eat on breakfast, lunch, and dinner. (Well, mostly, anyway - I do intermittent fasting, and so substitute in a protein shake for breakfast and lunch three times a week.)

Oct. 30th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)
Hey, rumor from Cori is that Duchezz and a few others are coming to the Cooks & Bards event and crashing at my place. Do you have anyone staying with you that weekend? If not, and if you don't want to go to the event but don't want to stay home by yourself, you're welcome to come along and hang out with me. If you're so inclined, you could come help me paint my old house, or we could just hang out and do girl things (though there would be medium-sized boys playing computer games and watching B5 in the mix...)

It won't hurt my feelings if it's not your cup of tea, but I wanted you to know it's an option.

Oct. 30th, 2008 08:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you, but I have puppy duty and a mass of papers to grade that weekend. I do think, though, I may try to make sure I have some company for at least part of the weekend.

But watching someone watching B5 enthusiastically is truly tempting. What a fabulous, fabulous show.
Oct. 30th, 2008 03:58 pm (UTC)
Hey! I tried that diet, and lost a bunch of weight. Unfortunately, I went to sleep for a while(10 days, not good!)

Oct. 30th, 2008 08:09 pm (UTC)
We love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Duchezz is laughing hysterically)
Oct. 30th, 2008 07:10 pm (UTC)
Any time you do not want to be alone, let me know.
Oct. 30th, 2008 09:26 pm (UTC)
I lived on lo-mein, beef stew, and raisin bread and cream cheese sandwiches. Oh and beer and grapefuit juice (not mixed EWWWWWW)

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )