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Demons behind the door

The monsters of grief and loneliness are scratching at the door, but I'm resolutely keeping the door shut. I don't have time right now to let them in, deal with them, in the face of everything else that must get done, attended to, finished.

Dropped the car off at the glass place to get the windshield replaced. Damn gravel trucks.
Glass place is near the body shop where the Buick currently is sitting, sans grill and right front panel. It looks sad.

Duchezz finished her new shield per Crown list requirements. This has been very hard on her--he always made her shields. Fixed her armor. Coaxed, bullied, cajoled her into taking care of her kit. She is doing it herself now, and it is hard, so very hard. He was hers from the time she was 19. She is being strong, and brave, and putting on a smiling face. More than half her life fell from that roof and, in a moment, was gone. She's astonishing in her strength, but no one should mistake her bravery for ease.

Having trouble focusing. I know why. But knowing doesn't mean allowing the spiral to grab me by the throat and pull me down. I can't. I won't.

To work--of many kinds.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 14th, 2009 06:32 pm (UTC)
I am so very sorry to you both if my phone call stirred things, I have been troubled of late for my children and my family, I am not sure where any of us stand and the other night, tired and beat, I felt at the edge and needed to throw a rope to someone who I could talk to, someone who might be able to lend an unbias ear and who cared for me warts and all. I stand in AWE of you both and want you to know I am deeply sorry if I have troubled you. You are like my sisters, (though we rarely talk without small ears present) my best friends. Anything I can shoulder for you this week in prep for the weekend? you know we all have the weekend off, maybe the boys could polish armor or cook something perhaps? Love, Heidi
Apr. 14th, 2009 08:16 pm (UTC)
All your call stirred in us was abiding love and profound affection--no worries, beloved one.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )